September, 18th, 2017
Sorry, but this blog post is going to talk about dealing with death in the family while I’m overseas. So if you don’t want to read about death and how hard it is to help your loved ones while you’re overseas, then please just skip this post and move on to the next. Thank you for your understanding.
Bad News From Back Home
I received a message from my mom this morning. My parents time would be night. I’m 13 hours ahead of them from Indiana. My grandfather has passed away. I’m a little numb about it right now. I loved my grandfather. But he couldn’t spend much time with us once he moved out of Auburn. I only saw him once or twice a year. A few years ago he came down with dementia. My mom was taking care of him the best she could for the past few years. Having to change him to different nursing homes a lot because something always came up about his level of dementia is too much to handle for them, or he is too violent, he curses to much, or the staff will say they have the perfect care for him but they would neglect his care or his room will still be filthy, or he would get some virus from the place and have to go to the hospital. My mom never did find a good place to put him in the end. My mother has also been taking care of Barbra though all this. That’s my mother’s stepmom but we call her Barbra.
When I went to see my grandfather in August, he didn’t look so good. He was in the hospital again because he picked up another virus from the nursing home. He was very weak and thin. He was very thin and his bright blue eyes were popping out. He couldn’t even leave himself up. He didn’t know who I was. This also happened two years ago when I saw him. He just gave me a blank stare and needed my mom to tell him who I was. That hurt me a lot but it’s not his fault. It’s the disease. My mom told me he didn’t have much time to live.
There’s not much I can do for my mom. I’m on the other side of the world. I’m in a new country that I have always wanted to go too. I’m having the time of my life here. I believe the hardest part of being overseas is having your loved one pass away and can’t be there for the living. I can’t hold my mom in my arms and tell her everything will be ok. I can’t be there for her when they have the funeral. I can’t help her to organize the funeral, I can’t be there for her when she has to organize his belongings. All I can do for her is tell her I love her and pray for everyone that will be suffering through this.
The only thing that will give me peace of mind is that he is in heaven with our Lord and savior. He became a Christian a few months ago while he was still himself for a short time. He isn’t suffering from dementia anymore. He is in a better place now. We can only grieve our losses and move on with our lives. Life will still go on, but for the people who knew my grandfather will always remember him and he will always be in our hearts.